Andrew Lloyd Webber - The Pekes And The Pollicles Lyrics

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Artist: Andrew Lloyd Webber
Andrew Lloyd Webber Author
Song Title: The Pekes And The Pollicles
Visits: 371
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Of the awful battle

of the pekes and the pollicles

Together with some account

Of the participation of the pugs and the poms

And the intervention of the all great Rumpus Cat!!!

The pekes and the pollicles everyone knows

Are a proud and implacable passionate foes

It is always the same where ever one goes

And the Pugs and the Poms although most people say

That they did not like fighting will once in a way

Show every symptom of wanting to join in the fray

And they


Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark


Until you could hear them all over the park

Now on the occassion of which I shall speak

Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week

(And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke)

The big police dog was away from his beat

I don?t know the reason but some people think

He slipped into the Wellington's Arms for a drink

And no one at all was about on the street

When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet

They did not advance or exactly retreat

But they glared at each other and scraped their hind feet

And they started to


Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark


Until you could hear them all over the park

Now the Peke although people may say what they please

Is no british dog but Heathen Chinese

And so all the Pekes when they heard the uproar

Some came to the window, some came to the door

And together they started to grumble and wheeze

In their huffery-snuffery Heathen Chinese

But a terrible din is what Pollicles like

For your Pollicle dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke

Male Cats:

There are dogs out of every nation the Irish, the Welsh and the Dane:

The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian,

and even from China and Spain.

The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian

And the Mastiff who walks on a chain.


And to those that are frisky and frolical,

Let my meaning be perfectly plain:

Male Cats:

That my name it is little Tom Pollicle,

and you'd better not do it again!"


And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters

And every dog-jack of them notable fighters

And so they stepped out with their pipers in order

Playing "When the Blue Bonnets Come Over The Border"

And the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof

But some from the balcony some from the roof

Joined into the din with a


Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark


Until you could hear them all over the park


Huffery snuffery huffery snuff!


Until you could hear them all over the park






When these bold heros together assembled

The traffic all stopped

And the Underground trembled

And some of the neightbors were so much afraid

That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade

When suddenly up from a small basement flat

Why who should stalk out but the Great Rumpus Cat!!!!

His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing

He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing

And when he looked out through the bars of the area

You never saw anything fiercer.......Or hairier

And what with a glare of his eyes and his yawning

The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning

He looked to the sky and he gave a great leap

And every last one of them scattered like sheep!

And when the Police dog returned to his beat

There wasn't a single one left on the street!


All hail and all bow to the Great Rumpus Cat!!!!


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