Christine Lavin - Artificial Means Lyrics

Lyrics Directory >> C >> Christine Lavin Singer Lyrics >> Artificial Means Song Lyrics

Artist:	Christine Lavin
Song Title:	Artificial Means
Visits:	796

Print Version

ARTIFICIAL MEANS
(Christine Lavin, Copyright Flip-A-Jig Music 1984)

Johnny and Janie were the perfect married couple
But not in bed
Oh they tried taking drugs, How-To Books, even Dr. Ruth
But for all intents and purposes,
Their love life was dead.

'Till one day Janie went over to the Pink Pussycat Boutique.
She bought a long cylindrical thing.
Now Janie is smiling, Johnny is not.
Every night you can hear him sing,

He says,
''Our love is bein' kept alive by Artificial Means,
You've grown emotionally attached to that little pink machine,
Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems
'Cause our love is being kept alive by artificial means''
Johnny went down to the barroom
He bought one drink, he bought two, he bought three.
Oh, he moaned to the bartender the state of his married life.
Bartender said, ''Hey Bud, just listen to me.''

So Johnny went over to the Pink Pussycat Boutique,
He bought a plastic blow-up doll.
Now Johnny is smiling, Janie is not.
She is angry she is jealous, she's appalled.

She says
''Our love is bein' kept alive by Artificial Means
You've grown emotionally attached to that poly-ethylene.
Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems,
'Cause our love is being kept alive by artificial means''

Bridge: Wires (wires), Switches (switches), Batteries
(batteries), Plastic (plastic),
Tufts of polyester hair.
Who'd ever think they could replace the love (love!)
Humans used to share (humans used to, humans used to,
humans used to, humans used to!)

Then one fateful day those batteries died
At the same moment that that big doll sprung a leak (psssss).
Janie looked at Johnny looked at Janie looked at Johnny,
They both found it difficult to speak

I wish I could say they threw those contraptions away
And fell in love all over again,
But Johnny taped up that hissing woman
When Janie stole the batteries from his Sony Walkman.

Their love is bein kept alive by Artificial Means.
They've grown emotionally attached to those modern sex
machines.
Their relationship is not as healthy as it seems,
'Cause their love is being kept alive by artificial means

@sex
filename[ ARTMEANS
BR
===DOCUMENT BOUNDARY

Artificial Means Lyrics at Lyricstrue

E-Mail, IM, Text :
Websites & Blogs :
Forums :


Other Christine Lavin song Lyrics
Attainable Love "He's not eighteen He's not twenty-five He's closing in on forty Look at those eyes..."	BLind Dating Fun "Christine Lavin "Blind Dating Fun" I broke up with my baby. Though it was the right thing to do, It has left me languishing so lonesome and so blue...."
Compass "Christine Lavin "Compass" How can she say she's lost without him? He's not a compass; he never was...."	Damaged Goods "Christine Lavin "Damaged Goods" He was always a bit too open, a bit too quick to please. Such eager men make women feel ill at ease...."
Fly On A Plane "I'm a Fly on a Plane I am buzzin' all around I got on in Houston Oh No I'm San Antonio bound...."	High Heel Shoes "Christine Lavin "High Heel Shoes" I'm getting dizzy way up here; I haven't been this high in years...."
I Bring Out The Worst In You "Christine Lavin "I Bring Out the Worst In You" I bring out the worst in you; you bring out the worst in me. So what are we doing here arguing with destiny?..."	Katy Says Today Is The Best Day Of My Whole Entire Life "Katy Says Today is the Best Day of my Whole Entire Life Katy is Three years old We've been dancing in the living room to her new Tom Paxton record Katy's got a lot of rhythm when she wiggles, for a little kid, she's got soul..."
...Show All