Gang Bloodhound - A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper is Lyrics

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Lyrics Directory >> G >> Gang Bloodhound Singer Lyrics >> A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper is Song Lyrics

Artist: Gang Bloodhound
Gang Bloodhound Author

Gang Bloodhound Author

Song Title:	A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper is
Visits:	741

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled
on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact,
three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog
to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come
up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said
her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'cause I was
just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well she smiled, had about as much
teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face
like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess
she could sense my desperation. 'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're
dressed like Minnie Pearl.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says,
"Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the
doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a
cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers,
twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if
you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have
to admit it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy
baby formula.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid
on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin'
through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the
back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any
good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon
of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an
eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin

A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper is Lyrics at Lyricstrue

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Other Gang Bloodhound song Lyrics
Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny "You came twice last year like a Sears catalog Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog..."	Lift Your Head Up High And Blow Your Brains Out "Lift your head up high and blow your brains out Do you still go to raves? Do you think that Christ saves? Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze?..."
Fire Water Burn "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn..."	I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks "If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too..."
Whys Everybody Always Pickin On Me "Why is everbody always pickin' on me? The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me..."	Its Tricky "This beat is my recital I think it's very vital To rock a rhyme That's right on time..."
Asleep At The Wheel "Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous Break curfew new trip ensues You never know Bloodhounds just go Pack backpack up for down the road..."	Shut Up "I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil I get under your skin and I sebaceously form I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn..."

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