Gang Bloodhound - I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Lyrics

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Artist: Gang Bloodhound
Gang Bloodhound Author

Album: One Fierce Beer Coaster (1996)
Gang Bloodhound - One Fierce Beer Coaster Album

Song Title:	I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
Genre:	Rock: Alternative
Visits:	858

Print Version

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Lyrics at Lyricstrue

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Other Gang Bloodhound song Lyrics
Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny "You came twice last year like a Sears catalog Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog..."	Lift Your Head Up High And Blow Your Brains Out "Lift your head up high and blow your brains out Do you still go to raves? Do you think that Christ saves? Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze?..."
Fire Water Burn "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn..."	Whys Everybody Always Pickin On Me "Why is everbody always pickin' on me? The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me..."
Its Tricky "This beat is my recital I think it's very vital To rock a rhyme That's right on time..."	Asleep At The Wheel "Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous Break curfew new trip ensues You never know Bloodhounds just go Pack backpack up for down the road..."
Shut Up "I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil I get under your skin and I sebaceously form I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn..."	Your Only Friends Are Make Believe "Yea well I sing like an amputee though Why? Cause can't hold a note can't cary a tune Knock knock Mr. Rogers it's Mr. McFeelie..."
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