Ookla the Mok - Number One Lyrics

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Artist: Ookla the Mok
Song Title: Number One
Visits: 596
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I am a gambler
I am Fortune's son
I am the first mate of the NCC-1701D

Well I had an encounter at Farpoint Station
With a little touch of constipation
While I was waiting to come aboard and meet my crew
But when the captain arrived I got this feeling inside
That there was something that I needed to do
And it's true

That when I got to my quarters there was something missing
I didn't have a pot to piss in
But I was too proud to ask an ensign where to go
And so I flashed with a smile and held it in for awhile
And tried not to let it show
But you know

CHORUS:
I asked the ship's computer
I checked the technical guide
But there are no bathrooms on the Enterprise
I've been here seven days
And I can't wait anymore
Pretty soon I'm gonna boldly go where no one's ever gone before

I can't sit down, I'm in some condition
How'd Kirk survive on a five year mission?
This new assignment is getting harder to endure
Cause I ain't feeling so great and I'm putting on lots of weight
I couldn't make it through a three hour tour
That's for sure

And now I've gained twenty pounds and I grew a beard
How could I shave without a bathroom mirror?
If I don't get some relief I'm gonna split my skin
Cause I'm as round as a globe and if I don't launch a probe
Soon I'll weigh enough to be my own twin
My transporter twin

CHORUS

Number One Lyrics at Lyricstrue

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Other Ookla the Mok song Lyrics
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  • Aged
    "Same four chords and same old theme
    I can't seem to get away from the TV screen
    And though I've failed it can't be said I haven't tried
    Still I can't help feeling that I'm trapped inside..."
  • Arthur Curry
    "Batman's got an attitude, everybody takes him seriously
    And Superman never made any money, well try to tell that to DC
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    Say I have useless super powers and make fun of me..."
  • Bride Of Wolfman
    "Even a man who is pure at heart
    And says his prayers by night
    May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms
    And the autumn moon is bright..."
  • Cool
    "I'm gonna grow a moustache, I'm gonna grow a beard
    I'll get some John Lennon glasses, and then I'm gonna act weird
    I'll get flare pants and sandals, and drive an old beat-up car
    I'm gonna own a used bookshop, and smoke a nasty cigar..."
  • Cowboy Secret Space Detective
    "I'm gonna grow a moustache, I'm gonna grow a beard
    I'll get some John Lennon glasses, and then I'm gonna act weird
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  • Dollar Fifty Movies
    "What can you do when it's all gone and you're not alone?
    What can I do to make you care?
    The key still fit, I turned the lock and I was home
    But what can I do when you're not there?..."
  • Fly
    "If I could fly I'd fly so high that you couldn't see me
    And if I could fly I'd fly so high that you'd want to be me
    And if I could fly I'd fly today
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