Ookla the Mok - Number One Lyrics

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Artist: Ookla the Mok
Song Title: Number One
Visits: 547
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I am a gambler
I am Fortune's son
I am the first mate of the NCC-1701D

Well I had an encounter at Farpoint Station
With a little touch of constipation
While I was waiting to come aboard and meet my crew
But when the captain arrived I got this feeling inside
That there was something that I needed to do
And it's true

That when I got to my quarters there was something missing
I didn't have a pot to piss in
But I was too proud to ask an ensign where to go
And so I flashed with a smile and held it in for awhile
And tried not to let it show
But you know

CHORUS:
I asked the ship's computer
I checked the technical guide
But there are no bathrooms on the Enterprise
I've been here seven days
And I can't wait anymore
Pretty soon I'm gonna boldly go where no one's ever gone before

I can't sit down, I'm in some condition
How'd Kirk survive on a five year mission?
This new assignment is getting harder to endure
Cause I ain't feeling so great and I'm putting on lots of weight
I couldn't make it through a three hour tour
That's for sure

And now I've gained twenty pounds and I grew a beard
How could I shave without a bathroom mirror?
If I don't get some relief I'm gonna split my skin
Cause I'm as round as a globe and if I don't launch a probe
Soon I'll weigh enough to be my own twin
My transporter twin

CHORUS

Number One Lyrics at Lyricstrue

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Other Ookla the Mok song Lyrics
  • 54 Miles
    "Ay yo Stick man, shit is fucked up!
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    It's my fuckin word, Sticky, man!
    Muthafuckas wetted everything out there...."
  • Aged
    "Same four chords and same old theme
    I can't seem to get away from the TV screen
    And though I've failed it can't be said I haven't tried
    Still I can't help feeling that I'm trapped inside..."
  • Arthur Curry
    "Batman's got an attitude, everybody takes him seriously
    And Superman never made any money, well try to tell that to DC
    All the other members of the Justice League
    Say I have useless super powers and make fun of me..."
  • Bride Of Wolfman
    "Even a man who is pure at heart
    And says his prayers by night
    May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms
    And the autumn moon is bright..."
  • Cool
    "I'm gonna grow a moustache, I'm gonna grow a beard
    I'll get some John Lennon glasses, and then I'm gonna act weird
    I'll get flare pants and sandals, and drive an old beat-up car
    I'm gonna own a used bookshop, and smoke a nasty cigar..."
  • Cowboy Secret Space Detective
    "I'm gonna grow a moustache, I'm gonna grow a beard
    I'll get some John Lennon glasses, and then I'm gonna act weird
    I'll get flare pants and sandals, and drive an old beat-up car
    I'm gonna own a used bookshop, and smoke a nasty cigar..."
  • Dollar Fifty Movies
    "What can you do when it's all gone and you're not alone?
    What can I do to make you care?
    The key still fit, I turned the lock and I was home
    But what can I do when you're not there?..."
  • Fly
    "If I could fly I'd fly so high that you couldn't see me
    And if I could fly I'd fly so high that you'd want to be me
    And if I could fly I'd fly today
    And if I could fly I'd fly away..."


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