Weird Al Yankovic - Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Lyrics

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Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic Author
Song Title: Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota
Visits: 500
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Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming

After working all year down at Big Roy's Heating And Plumbing

So one night when my family the I were gathered 'round the dinner table

I said, "Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world, now

Where'd you like to go ta"

They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota"

They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota



So the very next day we loaded up the car

With potato skins and pickled weiners,

Crossword puzzles, Spider-Man comics, and mama's home made rhubarb pie

Pulled out of the driveway and the neighbors, they all waved good-bye

And so began our three day journey



We picked up a guy holding a sign that said "twine ball or bust"

He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie

I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net

Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down,

yelling "Are we there yet?"

And all of us were joined together in one common thought

As we rolled down the long and winding interstate in our '53 DeSoto

We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota



Oh, we couldn't wait to get there

So we drove straight through for three whole days and nights

Of course, we stopped for more pickled weiners now and then

The scenery was just so pretty, boy I wish the kids could've seen it

But you can't see out of the side of the car

Because the windows are completely covered

With the decals of all the place where we've already been



There's Elvis-O-Rama, the Tupperware Museum,

The Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World,

The Shuffleboard Hall Of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock,

And The Mecca of Albino Squirrels

We've been to ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums,

And a place where you can drive through the middle of a tree

We've seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches,

But there's still one thing we gotta see



Well, we crossed the state line about 6:39

And we saw a sign that said "Twine Ball exit - 50 miles"

Oh, the kids were so happy the started singing

"99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the 27th time that day

So, we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station

Got a few more pickled weiners and a diet chocolate soda

On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

We're gonna see the biggest ball of tiwne in Minnesota



Finally, at 7:37 early Wednesday evening as the sun was setting

in the Minnesota sky

Out in the distance, on the horizon, it appeared to me like a vision

before my unbelieving eye

I parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence towards that

glorius huge majestic sphere

I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer imensity,

I had to pop myself a beer

Yes, on these hallowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays,

in a little shrine under a make-shift pagoda,

There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota



Oh, what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing?

Oh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string

What was he trying to prove, who was he trying to impress

Why did he build it, how did he do, it was anybody's guess

Where did he get the twine, what was goin' through his mind

Did it just seem like a good idea at the time



Well, we walked up beside it and I warned the kids

"Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason"

I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car

and we can take it home", but I was only teasin'

Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line

Bought a souvineer miniature ball of twine, some window decals,

and anything else they'd sell us

And we bought a couple post cards, "Greetings from the twine ball,

wish you were here"

Won't the folks back home be jealous



I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the ball and we all gathered

'round and said, "Cheese"

The Bernie ran away with my brand new Insti-Matic,

but at least we got our memories

Then we all just stared at the ball for a while and my eyes got moist,

but I said with a smile, "Kids, this here's what America's all about"

Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside and I fell on my knees

and I cried and cried

And that's when those security guards threw us out

You know, I bet if we unravelled that sucker,

It'd roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota

'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota



Well, we stayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn

In the morning we were on our way home again

But we really didn't want to leave, that was perfectly clear

I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go"

Then I winked my eye and I said, "You know, I got a funny kind of feelin'

we'll be comin' back again next year"

'Cause I've been all around this great big world

And I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go to

Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

Minnesota

Minnesota

Minnesota

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